Journals

I've been feeling a bit down lately (partly due to hormones, argh). I feel like talking to someone, only that I can't think of anyone "proper" to talk to about what's going on in my head. I thought of starting a paper journal. I also thought that maybe it's another excuse to buy a pretty notebook when I've got plenty of blank ones lying around. However, I don't want anyone to read my paper journals, even after I'm gone. See, when I was younger, I kept journals and I poured everything into them. My mom was pretty snoopy and when she read some angsty entries, she went ballistic on me. Since then, I've refrained from over-sharing in my journals (totally defeating the point of keeping journals) and then eventually stopped writing.

Then I discovered blogging. I found it liberating that I can write and write, hiding under a nickname, and people "listened" and wrote back. However, one day, one of my room mates shared that she found it weird that a group of girls were talking about something that we ourselves talked about a couple of days before. It turned out that by some strange quirk of Google, she was searching for something totally unrelated to our conversation yet ended up on my blog. There is no hiding in the internet.

My point is, there are a lot of things I want to write down, just to get them out of my system I guess, but I am not prepared to be responsible for my thoughts. Maybe I should just write, then burn everything up afterwards.