Firsts

It's no secret that we've been trying to have a baby for years. When we finally confirmed that we've successfully conceived, I busted out the blessed hashtag. Thus, I was expecting rainbows and butterflies and confetti when I give birth.

But no. Even without consulting a doctor, I knew I suffered post-partum depression. I was tired, sleep-deprived and crying all the time. The day after I gave birth, I learned that my prospective employer after my leave decided not to honor our agreement so I was going to be jobless. The yaya left two weeks after. I wanted someone, anyone, to take care of me but everyone was unavailable. However, I was expected to take care of this little baby.

Do not be confused, I love my baby as soon as we met him. But as it is with PPD, or more probably the sleep deprivation, I had the craziest thoughts.

People told me it will get better, that it's all gonna be worth it.

So I kept waiting.

I got a job a month before my maternity leave expired. This made me more stressed but I think it also helped me a little that I was out of the house. As soon as I get home from work, I would take a shower, scarf down dinner and take care of the baby until the next morning. On weekends, I'm on full time mommy mode.

Yesterday, we finally witnessed the “it's-gonna-be-worth-it” part. While I was inside the grocery, baby was with hubby who was meeting a customer. Hubby said that after the transaction, P suddenly launched an all-out crying fit. He prepared a bottle but P was still crying. So I went out of the grocery before paying to see what was wrong. After feeding, I carried P in the burp position and we went back inside the grocery. While waiting in line hubby was telling me that while P was crying in his stroller, he was kicking so hard that he was sliding down the seat. Then suddenly, P GIGGLED. And then giggled again. I motioned hubby to take out his phone and we managed to record the third, albeit shorter, giggle.

I'm so happy we were there to witness that. I hope that even if I'm a working mommy, I will get to witness all his other firsts, all the other “it's gonna be worth it” moments.

11 Weeks Post-Partum Milestone

... is me fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Sure, they're semi-stretch but still, they're skinny jeans and I fit into them. Due to breastfeeding or stress? I vote for the latter, caused by plugged ducts, then mastitis, then job-hunting, then reporting back to work six weeks post-partum, then surgery. I think I would have fit into them even earlier, it's just that I only tried wearing a pair this morning.

So... yay?

Second Month Milestones

During P's 2-month check-up last February 28, the pedia asked if he was smiling... with meaning. I was like, "errr...?" P has been giving a few smiles but we could not tell if it was with meaning. Also, we weren't sure if he could already see.

Then this week-end, boom, he started smiling a lot, as in a lot. I thought it was due to gas, that smile-y thing that babies do while sleeping. But as I yakked and yakked, he would smile as if he found me funny. He has also started cooing and gurgling a lot. We have also concluded that he can see because he would cry if left alone in the bed but would cease if we went back.

I've also tried giving him tummy time for a minute but he does not like it. He has attempted to raise his head only once while on tummy time.

The lolas have been pestering me why he's not taking vitamins yet. I told the pedia and she said baby can get the vitamins from my breastmilk. When I mentioned the lolas, pedia said, "Ah alam ko na yan, gusto nang Tiki-Tiki." So now we're giving him 0.3ml of Tiki-Tiki. How 80s. :)